DNapalm Leaves, Crowd Goes Wild
AlphaWorld GZ
-- After over three and a half years, DNews Editor-in-Chief DNapalm is leaving Active Worlds. Shortly after this was announced, citizens and tourists alike began to do childish dances of glee. When asked why they merely replied, "You've never met him, have you?" According to records, there has not been a celebration like this since the last time DNapalm said he was quitting.
Newbie Builds Eyesore House, AWCOM Stock Drops 30%
A 30% drop in AWCOM stock was traced today to the construction of a new house in AlphaWorld. The house's misshapen form, inconsistent design, and clashing
color schemes so frightened investors that a massive divesture of the publicly traded stock ensued. One investor explained "How could we support a program that allows a place like that to exist?" AWCOM was not available
for comment. BuffedStud14 Renews Citizenship With Mom's Credit Card
Longtime AWGZ veteran BuffedStud14 today renewed his citizenship with a credit card he borrowed from his mom. According to inside sources,
he agreed to have his allowance garnished in order to continue his nightly harassment of teenage females. The card is believed to be a Mastercard. Wildwest Not A Movie World
Despite popular belief, the world
Wildwest has absolutely nothing to do with the summer blockbuster "Wild Wild West", starring Will Smith and Kevin Kline. The movie, a bad one, was the story of Western lawmen fighting an evil villain. The world is for
public building and deleting, and allows citizens to move or delete property that does not even belong to them. An informal poll of AWGZ citizens resulted in an even 50/50 split on which they would rather watch in a
theater (Amongst those with a preference). Peacekeeper Duties Add Meaning To Otherwise Pointless Life
Peacekeeper 92, who normally staggers through each day with a dull sense of regret and self hatred,
manages to muster a shred of interest when performing his duties as an Active Worlds Peacekeeper. Every day he monitors AWGZ for obscenity and harassment in the face of increasing, near suicidal depression. When asked
how a simple chat program could possibly fill the enormous void inside of him, he responded by ejecting the questioner. |
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AWCOM Accidentally Adds New Feature After an extensive period of
nothing but minor bugfixes and enhancements, it was discovered that a new feature snuck by AWCOM Quality Control. The company says it is "baffled", and vows to work on preventing such distractions from happening again.
<- Read On -> In The News
Gatekeeper Turns Gatecrasher
Crucial Town Hall Meeting Reveals ENZO's Likes/Dislikes
Active Worlds Sold Or Renamed Or Whatever Editorial
Informal Poll
How Will DNapalm's Departure Affect You?A Message From The Editor
A Retrospective Ask A Peacekeeper |
